A Rough Night

Despite having a great evening in together we had a very rough night last night. My wife has a cold and was unable to stop herself sneezing. Every time she was dozing off she would get woken up by a sudden jolt as she sneezed violently. I am a heavy sleeper but it still woke me up a few times. She actually got up for a while so I could sleep, and came back to bed a bit later.

Our son didn’t sleep well either. Through the course of the night we had to get up to him four times. Every time he just wanted a cuddle and then went back to sleep – all this from a little boy who normally sleeps all the way through.

While my wife was struggling to get to sleep I had a horrible dream. It felt very, very real. I dreamt that I was in bed with my wife and I woke up to find her using my phone. Or at least that’s what I thought… because it didn’t look like her phone. I quickly realised that it wasn’t my phone because mine was on my table. She hadn’t realised I was awake and was frantically writing a message. I snatched it out of her hand and looked at what she was writing. Whoever she was writing to she had addressed as “honey”, and the content was very flirtatious. There were no numbers stored in the phone just lots of messages to and from the same number.

I knew what it meant. She told me that all our progress had just been an act and that she was still seeing her boss. They were planning to run away together, and she needed cash. As my heart sank I let out a loud, painful cry and all of the hurt of finding out about the affair came back to me.

It was a relief that I awoke, it was the sound of my own cry that did it. I quickly realised it was all a dream. My wife rolled over and asked me what was wrong and I told her about the dream. She came close to me and we cuddled. She reassured me, “I haven’t got another phone and I won’t do anything like that to you. I’m here for good.” After a few minutes I felt better. I think the dream probably shows what I fear the most. It’s not so much her leaving me, but it’s the pain of all we are investing in our relationship being for nothing. We really are getting on well together, we both feel that things are going really well. To find out it was all an act would be something of a crushing blow.

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